Stop Asking “How Was Your Day?” Try These Questions Instead

I pick up my son after his cross-country workouts at Wenatchee High School. He climbs into the car, tired and a little muddy, and the “How was your day?” question barely leaves my mouth before I hear it. “Fine.”

For a long time, I assumed he was just being difficult. Child psychologists say it isn’t. The question is simply too big. A school day holds lessons, conversations, small wins, awkward moments, and a whole range of feelings. Asking a kid to boil all that down on the spot, right after they’ve been on their feet for hours, is a lot. “Fine” is the easy exit.

I’ve also learned to stay quiet about practice unless he brings it up. If he wants to talk about his race times, he will. If I push, the conversation ends.

What questions can I ask to get my kid talking about their day?

Experts advise being specific but still open-ended. Think of the dinner table as a second chance, when everyone is sitting down, and nobody’s rushing out of a car.

A few that Parade suggests. What made you laugh today? What was the best part of your day, and why? Who did something kind that you noticed? Was there a part of today that felt hard?

Some give kids room to be honest without feeling put on the spot. “What was your rose and your thorn today?” lets them share something good and something bad in the same breath. “What surprised you today?” often gets a better story than the question about the whole day.

Being there for your child via Canva

Questions That Look Ahead

Some aren’t about the past at all. “What are you looking forward to this week?” gives kids something to be excited about. “Is there anything you’d like help figuring out?” tells them you’re on their side, without forcing a confession.

My favorite is “What’s one silly rule you’d add to our house for a week?” You’ll get a laugh, and maybe an idea worth trying. Another good one is “What’s one thing you’d like us to do together as a family this month?” In the Wenatchee Valley, the answers might involve a hike or a trip to Pybus.

Of course, it depends on your kid. A talker might need no help at all. A quiet one might need three tries and a snack. Match the question to their personality and what they’re into, and don’t worry if it flops.

Try one at dinner tonight. You might not get a speech, but you might get more than “fine.”