Advice for new NCW Residents (Wrong Answers Only)
Ever move to a new place? In my radio career, I’ve moved to places like Lewiston, Idaho; Spokane, Tri-Cities, Long Island, New York City, Cleveland and here in North Central Washington. I’ve always wanted to fit in with the locals.
What if we were to give horribly wrong advice to all of the new residents of Wenatchee, Leavenworth or the Columbia Basin?
Buckle up. Here we go.
“Please tell us how you did things over on the Coast! We love the insightful advice ”
(For the small or large percentage of people that are half paying attention, this is a parody/comedy piece. Remember, wrong answers only.)
Tell everyone you’re from California and tell people “we don’t have enough charging stations in this small town.”
Pet all the snakes, they’re our friends
“You should head up into the foothills after dark and go hike around with a headlamp.” - Some of you already do this. I know that Mountain Lions are more active between sundown and sunrise.
Its okay to pick fruit off of any fruit tree, for a quick snack. Nobody will care.
“Don’t have snow tires around here? Yah, you’ll be okay”
“Pet the Racoons, they like it”
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“You don’t have to put money into those new parking meters in Leavenworth. They never check”
“Go ahead and leave those gates open. Local property owners don’t mind at all."
You don’t need any air conditioning. AC are for chumps
“It's okay to drive fast on the snow and ice. That's what Studded tires are for”
“You will love the regularly scheduled airline service from here to places all around the West Coast”
“Buy a rear wheel drive vehicle”
“You don’t need to park your car under a carport or garage. You’ll be just fine in our mild Winter.”
Throw away that snow shovel. You won’t need that here
“It's okay to sneak up and show up unannounced at your friends place out in the sticks.”
“Buy a horse. It’s the only way to get around”
“Always drink downstream from the cattle ranch. Its where Gatorade comes from”
Ever see those chairs on Orondo Avenue for the Apple Blossom parade? Yah, it's okay to push them aside and put your chair down.
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